Black Man And Woman Relationships Pt. 1/4~Shahrazad Ali

The Julio Diaz Story

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

“He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, ‘Here you go,’” Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, “Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you’re going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm.”

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, “like what’s going on here?” Diaz says. “He asked me, ‘Why are you doing this?’”

Diaz replied: “If you’re willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me … hey, you’re more than welcome.

“You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help,” Diaz says.

Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.

“The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi,” Diaz says. “The kid was like, ‘You know everybody here. Do you own this place?’”

“No, I just eat here a lot,” Diaz says he told the teen. “He says, ‘But you’re even nice to the dishwasher.’”

Diaz replied, “Well, haven’t you been taught you should be nice to everybody?”

“Yea, but I didn’t think people actually behaved that way,” the teen said.

Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. “He just had almost a sad face,” Diaz says.

The teen couldn’t answer Diaz — or he didn’t want to.

When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, “Look, I guess you’re going to have to pay for this bill ‘cause you have my money and I can’t pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I’ll gladly treat you.”

The teen “didn’t even think about it” and returned the wallet, Diaz says. “I gave him $20 … I figure maybe it’ll help him. I don’t know.”

Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen’s knife — “and he gave it to me.”

Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, “You’re the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch.”

“I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It’s as simple as it gets in this complicated world.”

RSA Animate - Changing Education Paradigms

Tithes... Capitalism or Church Doctrine?

I'm writing this post based on a person who called into a radio station and what they said absolutely baffled me. I couldn't comprehend their financial logic or economic reasoning. A woman called into the station and explained that her husband pays the bills and she doesn't have a job. She is a "God fearing" "christian" woman who would like to pay her "tithes" to the church. The only problem is she doesn't have any income and she asked her husband for the money. His response (which is very rational) if you want to give tithes to the church go get a job but I refuse to give you my hard working money that I use to pay the bills with. This woman thought her husband was out of line and was very upset with him for saying this. People were calling in bashing this man and defending her.

Now before you start throw scriptures at me let's think about this logically for a second. This woman doesn't have a job where she can contribute 10% of her income. I understand when you are married critical financial situations are always a mutual decision but tithing to the church should not be considered a critical financial situation. Now if this woman is a avid believer in the scripture and feels delegated to give back to the church let her carry that burden. If her husband doesn't have that same temperament he shouldn't feel guilty or vilified for wanting to have financial mobility with HIS money. I'm not taking his side because he is the man and the financial provider for the family. I am simply trying to "problematize" the psychology behind tithing. Let's take a closer look.

Different people tithe for different reasons. Some people tithe for financial prosperity and some people tithe to help out the church. I want to understand the psychology behind both mentalities.

Financial prosperity (blessings)
This is a very capitalistic mentality because what you are saying is that I am investing money for future blessings. The more money I give God the more blessed I will become and he will return that investment tenfold and I will gain financial stability. Also, the people who can't afford this generous donation will not be blessed and should be looked down upon.  So let's review, pay a little (10%) and get a big return. Now some people might call this gambling, I will give it a little more respect and call it the casino mentality.When you walk inside a casino your only goal is to spend as little money as possible and go home with the biggest return on your small investment. How is this mentality different from tithing?

Help out the church

Some people give money to help out the church so the church can turn around and put that money into the community. Right? That's a great idea. In the old testament Genesis 14:20 – Melchizedek comes out to meet Abraham, as Abraham gives him a tithe of the spoils of his victory. So Abraham was using spoils of war to help out the less fortunate which is the basic concept of "tithing". The only problem is that Black and white churches are doing the exact opposite. They are entrenched with this capitalistic mindset where they have to make a profit and they function and act how a business functions and acts at the expense of the hard working middle class that lives paycheck to paycheck.

Now most people are saying "I am obligated to pay 10% of my income because that's what the bible tells me to do." Well let's look at that scripture
LEV. 27: 30 And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD’s: it is holy unto the LORD. 
31 And if a man will at all redeem ought of his tithes, he shall add thereto the fifth part thereof. 
32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.
Now this scripture like many others in the bible has been taken out of it's proper context. Notice it is saying tithe of the LAND which already belongs to God. You have to place this passage in its proper historical context to fully comprehend it's meaning.


People will say "well that's the old testament, what about the new testament?" Well let's look.
There is no command to tithe for the new covenant Church. That is part of the law. You will not find one command by Christ, Paul, Peter, John, James or any of the gospel writers telling the Church to tithe. The purpose of the tithe was to support the Levitical priests who had no land or means for income, it was the Jewish community supporting the temple and the priests. If you look at Malachi it doesn't say anything about giving tithes either. Malachi stats the tithe already belongs to God.
Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings


In summary, Tithes are nothing more then a TAX system created by the church. I searched the entire bible for the "10% scripture" and I couldn't find it because it DOESN'T EXIST!! Churches use people's guilt, empathy, and apathy under the guise of scripture to finance their own agendas. Pastors and preachers have been taking bible verses out of their proper context for centuries to fund their own selfish greed. This is  just a byproduct of this capitalistic profit driven culture that we all fall victim to. You can vehemently support any belief system you wish but don't put yourself inside this superficial charity box. God sees everything that we do whether it's giving money to the homeless or giving your jacket to someone who's cold. I want to end on this by saying Black churches nationally make 3 billion dollars every sunday. 3 BILLION!!!! TAX FREE!!! With that money we could build 10 comprehensive high schools and send numerous of people to college for free so they wouldn't owe Sallie Mae for the rest of their lives.

Team Hampton Roads BNV 2011

21 Habits of Happy People

1. Appreciate Life
Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

2. Choose Friends Wisely
Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics as you will encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself. They are there to lend a helping hand when needed.

3. Be Considerate
Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life. Respect them for who they are. Touch them with a kind and generous spirit. Help when you are able, without trying to change the other person. Try to brighten the day of everyone you come into contact with.

4. Learn Continuously
Keep up to date with the latest news regarding your career and hobbies. Try new and daring things that has sparked your interest – such as dancing, skiing, surfing or sky-diving.

5. Creative Problem Solving
Don’t wallow in self-pity. As soon as you face a challenge get busy finding a solution. Don’t let the set backs affect your mood, instead see each new obstacle you face as an opportunity to make a positive change. Learn to trust your gut instincts – it’s almost always right.

6. Do What They Love
Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs! No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around. We spend a great deal of our life working. Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests.

7. Enjoy Life
Take the time to see the beauty around you. There’s more to life than work. Take time to smell the roses, watch a sunset or sunrise with a loved one, take a walk along the seashore, hike in the woods etc. Learn to live in the present moment and cherish it. Don’t live in the past or the future.

8. Laugh
Don’t take yourself – or life to seriously. You can find humor in just about any situation. Laugh at yourself – no one’s perfect. When appropriate laugh and make light of the circumstances. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

9. Forgive
Holding a grudge will hurt no one but you. Forgive others for your own peace of mind. When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

10. Gratitude
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings; All of them – even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life.

11. Invest in Relationships
Always make sure your loved ones know you love them even in times of conflict. Nurture and grow your relationships with your family and friends by making the time to spend with them. Don’t break your promises to them. Be supportive.

12. Keep Their Word
Honesty is the best policy. Every action and decision you make should be based on honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

13. Meditate
Meditation gives your very active brain a rest. When it’s rested you will have more energy and function at a higher level. Types of meditation include yoga, hypnosis, relaxation tapes, affirmations, visualization or just sitting in complete silence. Find something you enjoy and make the time to practice daily.

14. Mind Their Own Business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Don’t judge. Everyone has a right to live their own life the way they want to – including you.

15. Optimism
See the glass as half full. Find the positive side of any given situation. It’s there – even though it may be hard to find. Know that everything happens for a reason, even though you may never know what the reason is. Steer clear of negative thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in – replace it with a positive thought.

16. Love Unconditionally
Accept others for who they are. You don’t put limitations on your love. Even though you may not always like the actions of your loved ones – you continue to love them.

17. Persistence
Never give up. Face each new challenge with the attitude that it will bring you one step closer to your goal. You will never fail, as long as you never give up. Focus on what you want, learn the required skills, make a plan to succeed and take action. We are always happiest while pursuing something of value to us.

18. Be Proactive
Accept what can not be changed. Happy people don’t waste energy on circumstances beyond their control. Accept your limitations as a human being. Determine how you can take control by creating the outcome you desire – rather than waiting to respond.

19. Self Care
Take care of your mind, body and health. Get regular medical check ups. Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

20. Self Confidence
Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. After all no one likes a phony. Determine who you are in the inside – your own personal likes and dislikes. Be confident in who you are. Do the best you can and don’t second guess yourself.

21. Take Responsibility
Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life. They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words. They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.